Introducing People

Among Strangers

You introduce younger to older people.
"Mr. Young, come and meet Mr. Old."
Lesser in rank are introduces to senior in rank.
"Captain Brown, may I introduce you to Brigadier Black."
Men to Women.
"George, I want you to meet my cousin, Joan Ellis."

CHRISTIAN NAMES

When introducing children to adults it is usual to call the older person "Mr." or "Mrs." (or title) and this would also be so if introducing a jobbing gardener to your neighbor. People do use Christian names quite soon enough but is silly for Bobby aged three to begin calling a grown up "Bill" or your lady doctor "Alice". In shops and similar places Christian names would be used with customers unless the assistant was a friend.

SECRET OF REMEMBERING NAMES

Many people especially older folk who have to introduce three or more people to other guests find it impossible to remember all the names. Here are two tricks which can be employed and a friend of mine uses the first one.

1. With a Biro he writes on the palm of his hand, "John Black-Adder (eyebrows), Fiono Cranleigh (red head), Mrs. George Pot (like auntie)." In other words sufficient detail to enable you place the people. Many times he has been complimented on what his neat small handwriting.

2. The other alternative which can be used in emergency is to mumble or cough gently (remembering to put one's head to one's mouth). One "gets away" with this; after all, as has been said, "the only name you remember in an introduction is your own." In such things "Those who mind don't matter and those matter don't mind."

MEETING PEOPLE

If you meet people on the street, do introduce anyone with you or else say to them "I want to have a word with this person, please excuse me and wait a moment. I'll rejoin you." To just leave your companion standing neglected is poor taste. It's different in a shop where your friend coud browse. If a man is at a theater with a lady companion and someone comes to speak to her, he should stand and she can remain sitting or stand up if she wishes, and she should introduce the friend unless it its only to say a couple of words when it may be unnecessary.

INTRODUCE YOURSELF

If you are at a gathering and see someone looking shy, never hesitate and go up and say "My name is Jill White. Isn't this a nice do" or something suitable. Such a thoughtful action could make the person's day and yours! A more subtle way is to get a tray of nuts or sweets and offer them so making an excuse for conversation. Good manners are active not passive; encouraging yourself to use them will help to make life a little plesanter for others.

from Etiquette Today by Lady Penelope

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