What Makes a Man Cry?

A man's tears, because they are rare, provoke powerful responses, especially when they come as a result of something that's happening between the two of you. You're not sure whether to comfort him, .eave him alone, or try to talk it through. "All you know is, if he's crying, something major must be going on," says one woman.

"Men cry for the same reasons women do," notes Lawrence Robinson, a psychotherapist with Life Counseling Associates in Boston - anger, frustration, compassion, loss. "But men have layers of defense mechanisms to keep them from being vulnerable." Tears happen only when the walls have come down.

Men and women struggle for a happy medium between strong and sensitive, coming at it from opposite extremes. For men, "the message are mixed," says Robinson. "If you expect him to be caretaker, to be in charge, there's not always room for him to feel vulnerable, too." Trying not to be critical or defensive when he does open up - tears included - may smooth the way to less traumatic soul-to-soul contact.

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