Pity Those Who Never Experienced Love

Since February is a love month, I would like to share to you an article written by Norma C. Yambot, a teacher of Sagana Elem. School in Laur, Nueva Ecija, about love and marriage. She said "If there is anything better than to be loved it is loving."

I hope this will inspire you to love more.

Here is the story...

A few years ago, I was invited to a wedding where both the bride and the groom were in their mid-thirties. Both had "sowed their wild oats" so to speak, travelled, had successful careers, and appeared to be sophisticated and confident.

The entire affair was the epitome of underated good taste which meant that it cost a bundle and took months to plan. Six months later I saw the groom at the theater with another woman. At intermission later, we met at the cappuccino bar. He introduced his companion and, by way of explanation, added that he and his wife were "having a trial separation."

On the other hand, my best friend had just dropped out of college and was working in a publishing company for minimum wage. Having just turned twenty-one, he was already a father of a six month old boy before he and the mother of their son decided to marry.

They were married by a justice of the peace and the reception was held in the basement recroom of his parent's home.

Today they have three children and next year they will celebrate their silver anniversary.

What was the ingredient that made one marriage succeed while another failed despite the advantages (?) of emotional maturity and financial stability?

It was, of course, love.

I feel sorry for people who have never been, as they say, "head over heels in love."

Never had their faces ache from smiling so much.

Never understood the lyrics to those soppy love songs and even found themselves humming them.

Never wanted to know every minute detail of the lives of their loved one and in turn divulged their darkest secrets and shared their wildest dreams.

Never experienced how the presence of another human being can make the world such a wonderful place.

It's a magical time of the most intense emotions.

When your every waking thought is of the person you are in love with and even doing something as mundane as grocery shopping, becomes an exciting experience because you are sharing it together.

When little idiosyncrasies that would have annoyed you in someone else, you now find endearing in your sweetheart. And that's what you call her, sweetheart, and honey, and darling, and without sarcasm.

It's time when you feel you can achieve anything and she believes it too. And you wonder how you lived before she came into your life and you catch your breath at the unspeakable anguish you would suffer if she should ever leave you.

Of course, it never stays that intense. After all, if it did who could survive it?

But I was fortunate enough to experience that love and it led to marriage. And though it has mellowed and deepened over the years, I know the memory of that wondrous period over 25 years ago has been something both Chandra and I draw upon when we find each other being somewhat less then perfect mates.

Mind you, I don't think love is the only ingredient that makes marriage succeed, but without it I believe a relationship is doomed to fail or at best be spiritually unfulfilling.

Almost as important as love is respect and trust. I don't believe it is possible to love someone you no longer respect or trust. You have to be able to look at the person in a detached manner and think, if you weren't in a relationship with this person, would you still want to get to know him?

But love is the lubricant that keeps the friction below flash point even though you frequently rub each other the wrong way.

Love is what allows you to overlook his shortcomings and celebrate his strengths.

Love is this amazing bonding agent that can undergo incredible extremes and still maintain its hold.

There is a lot of talk today about the lack of commitment in relationships, specifically, on the part of men.

Love, like anything else worthwhile in life, is not without risk. It takes a considerable amount of courage. Mahatma Ghandi said, "A coward is incapable of exhibiting love, it is the prerogative of the brave."

But my experience has been that if you truly love someone, committment is not a problem. In fact, it is a natural as planning your live together.

Oh, and by the way, if you have to think about whether you're in love, you're not.

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